When blogging takes the back seat

This happened once again, blogging took the back seat or to be honest with you almost disappeared completely from my life and my ''daily routine''.I haven't posted anything for about two months I think or even more and not only that but I wasn't that much online at all this period of time.I'm not gonna lie, it felt weird at first and I was in this well known vicious cycle even before those two months!I felt guilty for not updating my blog or other social media, pushed myself like I HAVE to post something but didn't have the time to actually do it so the whole process took a while and this was how my last couple of posts have been written!

~ It was sad because something that once started as a fun hobby and outlet through tough times turned into something that made me feel stressed about it ~

And this was the moment that something switched inside my head and said that this is not fair for both me and you who spent some of your valuable time to read my posts!I decided to be honest with myself and face the truth which was that I felt so uninspired and unmotivated to even log into blogger!It wasn't one of those usual writer's block - my passion for blogging flew out of the window!

Maybe the problem was laying in the fact that I started to stress a lot about all the details around blogging and kind of forgot about writing and my actual content!Things like the design of my blog and how exactly I should use ALL the social media in order to be beneficial was a constant worry in my head!The more I noticed my numbers the more I doubted myself and everything seemed wrong and definitely not worth to be read or even visiting my blog.

I don't want this post to turn out as an ''excuse'' one or ''look I'm back''!It's more a chit-chat about the situation as I'm sure that a lot of you deal in the past or dealing with right now!And if you ask me that's okay and totally normal!Blogging is a creative process and sometimes can happen to not be in that ''creative mode''.

~ Somewhere I read that self-doubt and constant worry about what you ''put'' out there is something unavoidable for any creator of any kind!We will always wonder if we're good enough or as good as others ~

It depends though how you look at your blog if this is a bad situation or an ''oh well things happen''.For example for me is a hobby, it doesn't pay my bills and maybe that was the reason that it was kind of easier to took a step back from it!Now for some that their blogs are their full or part-time job, I guess it's harder to make the same decision!It will be amazing if one day my blog become my full-time job, but in order to be this even possible I need to spend much more time on it, which I don't always have - so in the end of the day each on their own sunshines!

Life whether we like it or not sometimes get in the way.Even if it's not in a drastic way like a full on schedule 24/7 still find it super hard to put together a post simply because I don't have the energy!I will also blame my perfectionism when it comes to creating things, both on here, my Etsy shop or in general!Sometimes my mum was around while I made some pouches for the shop and I was too fuzzy about every single detail and everything to be symmetrical and literally, she left the room because she couldn't get it!I think all comes down once again to each one personality!She is more practical, efficient and ''time is money'' type of person rather than me that I can spend hours looking at something to see if everything is okay and exactly to the point that should be.

~ Oh well - there are days that I even get tired of myself but this is me and I made peace with the fact that I can't work otherwise!Same with blogging, I prefer to take me ages to complete a post and be exactly how I wanted, from photos and writing to title! ~

So to conclude all those ramblings above, I wanted to tell you that I'm excited to start writing again and share all my thoughts with you and more and foremost to feel all excited again for the whole process!I have already written some posts and they are ready to go.I wanted to be sure this time that I will not slip again in this black hole.

In other news, don't think that something pretty major happened while I was away but in case you can't sleep at nights here is a mini update...

Somehow, especially during September, my social life got pretty busy!I was out almost every single night and even though I had a lot of fun, feeling free and happy meeting new people the introvert side of myself screaming from anxiousness inside!I pushed myself to ignore this little voice so I said yes in almost everything because I thought that this could make me a little bit more social!
Nope, not much of a change happened!Still shy and weirdo when I'm around people who don't know that well!

Other than that I found a job guys!!A full time one in a clothing store.I didn't expect it to be like that since my last job it was a family/local shop rather than the current one is a franchise and work totally different but for me personally in a good way!I'm so much happier there,people seem lovely, I get my days off like normal (didn't have that in the previous job) and things look great so far!

I started during the second week of November and what really surprised me was that since day one the manager trust me working all alone in the men section of the shop which is in a floor all alone!I guess that sounds crazy if you live in bigger cities with huge department stores but keep in mind that we talk about local one here which yes, it's big but still manageable!So that was exciting because she trusted me and it was a boost to my confidence, not gonna lie!

And that was pretty much all I did during the period that I was away!Nothing much or drastic but I truly feel good and happy!People ask me why when I reply this exact thing to them and you know what, I think that there is not a specific reason!Maybe I'm good and happy just with myself and that for once is enough!

I would love to let me know in the comments below your news, anything ecxited or not, let's catch up!!

Also if there is anything in specific that you would like to see around here now is the time to hit me up ^_^

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Keep Smile :)

xx Aphrodite